why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.