I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.