Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped