dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems