it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The uberlube is also flammable
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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