Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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