DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
