remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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