It was confusing and full of hummus
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
