3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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