I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize