Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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