I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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