paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
