If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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