I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
