I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
