Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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