The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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