Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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