Screwed.edu
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
