The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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