We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
