man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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