It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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