I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you still have your period?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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