She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wear drunk well.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
