Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
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When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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