You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
