Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
