guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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