as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
