My nipple is on Facebook.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
