Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize