If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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