matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
