they need to just BURY HIM!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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