im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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