I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize