these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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