NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
