I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
