I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
