Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
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I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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