Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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