New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
