I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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