U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
