very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
