I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize