It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
