My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr