I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.