we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Let's get the cat blown out
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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