Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
