I'm lost and stupid without you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
