woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize