What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize