even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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