u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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