She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
