I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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