The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize