I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
