I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
