For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
