I cockslap morals
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I believe in your delicious
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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